Ever wonder if the man trying to date you is gay?

Posted on by girldontbesodesperateyouknowhesgay

Well, my book: girl Don’t Be so Desperate… you know He’s Gay can help! The book will be coming out in a few weeks. Until then, here are 5 tips to help you figure out if the guy trying to “holla” at you is on the down low.

1. Trust your gut. God gave women EXTREME intuition. If you feel like something is off or not adding up; that’s it! Let him down easy and cut your losses. Remember it’s better SAFE than sorry.

2. Watch what he says and how he acts. Pay attention to your man’s verbiage and mannerisms (particularly when he lets his guard down). If you hear him using words that typically only women use: Fabulous, OMG/ ‘Oh my god’, Precious, even LIKE excessively; take note. On top of that, if he talks with his hands… NEXT!

3. Pay attention to how he dresses. If a man is ALWAYS in tight pants, look out! The majority of men wear some type of boxers. This is b/c our guys need room to be free and relax down there. So if your man is always crammed into TIGHT pants… that’s a red flag. Besides, who wants a man whose booty is on display as much or more than yours?

4. How does he style his hair? Although dreadlocks are in, there are limits that most men adhere to. Watch out for men who have long flowing hair. Dreads say one thing but a perm tells a whole other story! If your man’s hair is longer and more FABULOUS than yours, you should be concerned. Just today, the news broke that rapper Snoop Dogg is being sued for bullying a gay guy by calling him “AUNTCLE” on instagram. The guy is young, petite, and has long hair. In fact, he looks a lot like SNOOP. So Snoop called this guy out for being feminine? Meanwhile, he keeps his own hair LAYED with the best Salon PERM. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Girl do you really want your man sitting next to you getting a ‘Blow out’ at the hair dresser?

5. Get to know his friends. Birds of a feather flock together. If you identify some of his buddies as gay, on the DL (down low) or questionable; RUN! Even if these guys also have girlfriends, trust your gut. You are probably the latest ‘beard’ to join these dude’s cover up operation.

Adhere to these tips and you should be fine. There are downlows in every ethnicity, every town, every profession and every size. You must be savvy and learn how to spot and AVOID them. Keep reading my blog and get your copy of the book: girl Don’t Be so Desperate… you know He’s Gay. And I promise you, your Gaydar will be fine tuned!

9 thoughts on “Ever wonder if the man trying to date you is gay?”

    1. Young people think they know it all. If I was a man and I was looking for a wife I don’t want a woman who is old and lay on her back with tom dick and herry. Hello.

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  2. I can’t wait until the book comes out, many valid points listed here! I do believe you need to trust your gut first and foremost.

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  5. As a LMSW who has previously worked in a public health setting, with a focus on infectious diseases, I believe this book will bring further awareness to an often taboo topic. I can foresee this book being utilized to help individuals empower themselves and advocate for their own individual needs and well-being. Both women and men have a right to be informed of how to best protect themselves, on various levels, to lead healthy and fulfilling lives. My hope is that this book, blog, and other related sources, will help to open up avenues of communication for all. Awareness and knowledge is power! Thank you for bringing attention to this topic …

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  6. I love your blog!

    If we love ourselves enough then we will attract authentic people, be they gay or straight.

    Unfortunately, society does not always treat gay people well, so they don’t come “out.” What happens is that women are often left wondering, is he gay, and hoping that he’s not.

    The bottom line is to listen to our instincts, trust ourselves, love ourselves and get tested.

    Until we as women learn to love ourselves, and learn that it’s okay to be alone sometimes, we will chase these fine gay/bi men, closing a blind eye to their sexuality…

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  7. This is very informative. I know that there are a lot of down lows in the black community so it helps when an openly gay guy points out some of the tell tell signs for us straight women. My gaydar is pretty well tuned but I think some down low brothers are sophisticated enough to escape the gaydar. Thanks for helping a sister out.

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