Many of you have seen the hot new show EMPIRE! As a result, you know that there is a gay story line weaved into the plot. The show’s creator, Lee Daniels, has offered a fresh new and very accurate depiction of how black people treat homosexuals in their homes and in the community. The fear and hostility of the father faced with dealing with his gay son is heart wrenching. During a ‘flashback’ we see the father so appalled by his young son playing dress up in his mother’s clothing, that he jerks the boy up yelling at him for “looking like a lil’ bitch” as he takes him outside to the back yard where they keep the trash. He then proceeds to put his son inside the garbage can and places the lid on it. He literally saw his own flesh and blood as trash and was happy to discard of it! Fortunately the boy’s mother witnessed his father’s tirade, follows her husband pleading for him to stop and rescues her 5 year old baby.
Surely this scene has just awakened the empathy of the shows’ black viewers? Not exactly. Many of you overlooked this horrendous act that a small child of 4 or 5 years old had endured. You lashed out on social media regarding your disdain for seeing the now young man, share a kiss with his male lover. Repeatedly I read how disgusted you were by having to witness such a thing. Many of you spewed your hatred on twitter swearing off the show b/c it featured homosexuals. Others of you express how good the show is but that the “gay stuff gotta go”. Others are so enthralled with the show, until they showed “that gay scene”.
As the show mimics the torture that black gay boys and men are forced to endure, so does our communities’ response to these fictitious characters. Despite the huge advances that the gay community has made, your prejudice is heard loud and clear. The snickering, revolution, and gay slurs are heard loud and clear no matter how subtle you try to be with it; on that rare occasion you decide not to broadcast it. These negative feelings that the black community has against gays is the very reason that so many black men are on the down low. Why would anybody admit to being something that is hated by everyone?
Ladies, you can’t have your cake and eat it too! You all have got to stop ostracizing gay men if you expect them to be honest and admit that they are homosexual. Every gay bashing incident that I endured was by a black girl or woman. This is why the black community has such a high percent of their homosexual males hiding in the closet. Once you reach the ripe age of 30-35+ you can no longer hide in the closet without raising suspicion. This is when many black gay guys make the decision to go from the closet, to on the down low.
Black women wake up. Many of you are the very ones forcing your bruthas in the closet and on the low. When you gain some self-control and keep your nasty comments about faggots to yourself, then black men will gain the self-confidence to stand up and be honest about who they really are. Please hear this: you cannot have one without the other. If you ridicule, they will hide. But if you accept, they will come out. In turn, this will make you a better person and allow you to live a happy and HEALTHY life.
John Carter, Author of the book: girl Don’t Be so Desperate…you know He’s Gay
girldontbesodesperateyouknowhesgay 
I really appreciate your perspective. I don’t think folks grasp the gravity of how the African-American community reacts to the black gay community. There was a recent news report about a defendant in DC sentenced for chasing & stabbing a transgender woman – like my mom said about the incident – so what if you don’t like something you see?! go your way & mind your business.
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So true! Why do people put limits on God? God is love, so why would he put limits on who/how people love? I bet those women who criticize the gay scenes profess to be Christians while they were judging and criticizing God’s creation. The sooner people realize that God created people gay, straight, bi, and trans….the better!
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This is so sad. I know God would not approve of such abuse and cruelty. I can understand they go into the closet out of fear. I write about the closeted gay husbands from a wives perspective. I was unknowingly married to a gay man for 22 years. Many of these closeted gay husband are cruel and abusive to their wives. I want to help she women know the signs of the husbands in the closet. My ex husband broke me to core of my soul. I want women to know they need to get out of these destructive marriages. These marrieges cause only pain to the wife and to the husband living the lie. I dont believe these men can help that it that they are gay, however they make a choice to live this lie, to abuse their wives. These women search for answers. Answers their husbands will never give them. The whole marriage is a fraud unbeknowst to the wife. Dont you think he ows her the truth.
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Yes, I certainly do believe that these men should stand up and admit that they are gay! However it is very difficult for the oppressed to gain strength and stand up for themselves. Otherwise blacks would not have been enslaved for 400 years when they far out numbered their slave masters. In addition, we all have to take responsibility for our own lives. Bc these cowards care too much about what society says; they lie. But what about your personal responsibility? There is no way that you can convince ANY ADULT MALE that you had no idea your husband was gay before 22 YEARS. The reason you can’t convince any male is bc we are all visual. Meaning within the first 3 years of marriage, you saw the way your husband looked at hot men at the very least. No man except JESUS can ignore the object of his TRUE desire for 3 months let alone 3 years. God gave women intuition for your protection. You have to take responsibility for the result of ignoring it. I could go on and on but I want to leave something for the book; LOL. So I will leave you with Kendra Wilkinson as an example. Her husband, Hank Baskett, who’s a pro football player was caught having an affair with a transexual- woman on top/man on bottom (allegedly). Kendra like many of you, has chosen to bury her head in the sand. However she did mistakenly give the real reason in an interview. What she said was “I’d rather spend the rest of my life not knowing what happened, than spend one day ALONE”. Accordingly, your husband is a victim and you were a victim. He should stand up for himself and admit to being gay; and you should be honest and admit that you had enough evidence of his gayness after 3 years and that you should have been strong enough to leave him earlier. In order for these oppressed men to stand up, women must join them and assist.
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In response to your statement that I saw the way my husband looked at men after three years of marriage. I dont know where this is coming from. Please don’t be confused. There are two writers on my blog. You may be confusing her story with mine. I always sign my name on my post. I would never have knowingly stayed with a gay man for 22 years. My husband used problem after problem to avoid the real issue of his homosexuality. He used depression, alcohol, medication, treatment for hep. C. My mind stayed occupied trying to help him with all these problems. It did cross my mind that he may be gay, of course i did not want to believe this. He was not feminine at all. He did not outwardly show it. He put on a very macho act, that at times seemed over done. With all the mind games he played it was hard to know what was real. There are many women like me who did not know. I will not take any responibilty for his lies. In a 50/50 marriage yes it takes two. When the marriage ends both can take some resposiblity. In the kind of marriage i was in, i place 100 percent for the failure of the marriage where it belongs, with him. I am balffled about how we go from homosexuality to slavery, that just does not make sense to me. The race card does not really belong here. When i tell you that these women did not know their husbands are gay I am speaking the truth, and from my own experience. I will say that some do stay with their gay husbands after finding out. They stay to try to work out the impossible. These marriages don’t last. Thank you for reading my blog and let me know when your book comes out I am interested in reading it.
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There are some very loving people in this world, but some very hateful ones,too. The latter are the ones that disgust and terrify me. For a father to behave that way is outrageous! I have a very hard time in the DC area when I hear many people mock and jeer gay men with horrid jokes. I have made countless numbers of retorts , including nothing was funny and shut up in a workplace or I will report you. These jokes need to go and they are nothing but hurtful, degrading and unacceptable.
One of the things I value greatly is the friendships I have always had with gay men. Most have been more than positive and have enriched my life. I truly want to read the upcoming book because every boyfriend I have ever had has been checked out by both gay and straight men. Not one gay man has ever been wrong about sexual preference or overall qualities.
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Well yes the black community especially the older generation has a very hard time accepting gay men. The churches and in the home it is a constant battle. It is also always perpetuated that a definition of a man is supposed to be a player/womanizer or be hard (not tears) in the media or music. All of these influences from early on cause young girls and young boys to insult or be uncomfortable with men who they believe are gay. I am sorry that you have only experience belittling from other women, but I was bullied when I was younger for being dark skinned. It came from other boys and girls. It was relentless at times. My skin color is something that I can never change. Just like a gay man should not try and change his sexuality to conform. Now I know for a fact being gay is different then being a dark skinned person, but I think when your bullied either you come out stronger on the other side or you go into hiding. I came out stronger on the other side. Alot of gay men to me want to take easier way out to deceive a woman then face the truth about who they are. I also will point out that yes in Empire the mother was the only one protecting her child. People in black community in general need to take a look at this issue. Not all black men have to be hard, not cry, and be womanizers. Give good examples of love and support to raise a healthy child black, white, yellow, green, purple and then that child can feel free to be themselves hopefully. I do think some women know and alot just dont know that there man is gay.
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